Earlier today, Louise Mensch, MP for Corby, announced her resignation from Parliament with the statement, ?I have decided, in order to keep [my family] together, to move to New York.?
Throughout the day, and inevitably in the weeks to come, the press focus has been fixated on Mensch?s decision to put family first, and to leave a stunning political career on Cameron?s fast-track, by moving to New York. But the questions raised by her decision to leave politics are not only to do with the possibility (or impossibility) of women ?having it all? in career and personal life. Mensch also seems to be giving up on the possibility of sustaining a trans-Atlantic relationship.
Mensch is used to long-distance love. She met her first husband, property valuer Anthony LoCicero, online and he flew from America to England for their first date. After they married in 2002, the pair raised three children in New York, before returning to the UK in order to educate their children in the British system. Mensch divorced from LoCicero in 2009, but her second husband, manager of Metallica and the Red Hot Chili Peppers Peter Mensch, is also a Manhattanite. Since the 2010 election, Louise Mensch has been accruing the air miles, hopping back and forth between the Corby constituency, Westminster, and her husband?s New York home.
But soon Mensch will return to the ranks of British expat in New York. And I, for one, do not blame her for picking love over location. Although I share little of the pressures with Mensch (I have no children, constituents, or Camerons to satisfy), I too am in a long distance relationship. Whilst I met my boyfriend in the US, he is now back in London, and it is tough to cope with the thousands of miles separating us.
I have previously celebrated online video calls and email as integral elements of staying connected to loved ones back home, but sometimes Skype is not enough. Trans-Atlantic flights are far cheaper than in previous decades, but as a two twenty-somethings, my boyfriend and I cannot afford to simply hop back and forth every fortnight. Even if we could, such travels are exhausting, and would prohibit us from putting in enough hours to succeed at our careers. We make it work, but it is not without much time and effort on both of our parts ? sometimes one of us stays up late or wakes very early to squeeze in talk time, we feverishly plan our movements months in advance to get maximum time together, and we have to get as many days together as possible in order to feel that we really are sharing our lives.
Gaby Hinsliff asked, in The Guardian, what lessons could we learn from Louise Mensch?s departure, and answered, ?There are none.? But I disagree. Mensch has not only suggested that career politics and family are hard to juggle (quelle surprise), but she has admitted that long-distance family life is too high a price to pay for a career. This acknowledgement is no shock to those of us who deal with long-distance relationships, but as one of a pair who have chosen to aim for career success on different continents it is an acknowledgement I am sad to hear.
So what hope for the rest of us trans-Atlantic couples? Should we throw in the towel and declare long-distance love impossible to maintain? That Mensch was able to raise three children and build her profile in Westminster for two years (and, lets not forget, squeeze in appearances in GQ and taking on Rupert Murdoch in the Culture, Media, and Sports Select Committee whilst at it) shows that temporary long-distance is absolutely possible. But the miles between you can only be temporary. For long-distance to work, both partners have to be committed to regular emails and video chats, and to agree a clear time and place to settle down, together, in the same country.
Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophiejpitman
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